When I am commissioned to create a Spirit Painting, I spend quite a while meditating in honor of the person and I allow whatever wants to come into form arrive on the canvas. It is an emotionally enriching experience because it feels like pouring myself into colors and opening myself up to wonderment. I never know quite what will come into view. I keep the prices low on these (very) because I want it to be something that most anyone could have if they chose to have one.
Healing happens in cycles, miracles happen suddenly. I recently visited my parents and talked to my retired physician/psychiatrist dad about possible surgery I was considering. He strongly advised me not to for some good reasons, and handed me this book MANIFESTING MICHELANGELO by Joseph Pierce Farrell. This is a book about a man who has healed others by use of conscious intent and has a 5 step process for learning how to do as he has done. As I read it, I related so much to everything Farrell had to say, from his love of the Gnostic Gospels to seeing visions that transformed him, showing him that everyone has the capacity to heal themselves and others. As a Reiki Master and artist, this is what I believe and practice each day. I felt I have a lot in common with him, and another thing, he also knows Grandmaster Alan Lee who I’ve known since 1995. What happened while I read Farrell’s book feels miraculous.
My dad encouraged me to contact Farrell who is Director of the Global Health Institute and recipient of the nation’s first endowed Chair in Consciousness Studies. I didn’t want to, I didn’t feel it would be possible to reach him, really and I felt kind of embarrassed. But I did anyway because my dad is a natural medical intuitive and very spiritual and I just felt I should honor what he said. Plus he said he’d pray about it. I went with the flow and sent an email through the GHI website and did not expect to ever hear back. Meanwhile, I made an appointment to see my PT who is Heather Strauch, a fantastic medical intuitive and very skilled PT. She said a few things that changed my thinking, making me realize how Eldon Taylor‘s fabulous book I BELIEVE can be practiced in real time. Truly, what we believe about ourselves becomes the truth about ourselves. I had thought I knew that on every level of my being, yet I had bought into a mind set about myself that wasn’t even true–I had given up on healing an injury without even consciously knowing I had done that. I felt shocked when I realized that I had been in the dark about an important wound that needed healing. This is what I try to help others to do every day in readings and Reiki sessions and I myself had not known what inside of me was ready to be healed. Being fixed is one thing, being healed another and in just a few short days I arrived at the place to be healed, or it flowed to me.
After this enlightening PT session with Heather which truly shifted my gears and snapped me out of zombie-like acceptance of myself as unable to heal, and after a conversation with J.P. Farrell (he did contact me and we had a nice chat), I had a powerful cosmic healing happen within me. as the Source of Life came rushing through because I had switched into the dimension of “all things are possible”. As a Reiki Master, I know how this works but it is one thing to have such a new kind of experience with healing.
It was as if everything I needed in order to be healed, not just fixed, got snapped into place. I felt the pulsation of healing (which I describe in yesterday’s post here on Illuminara) and envisioned a golden ring spinning which actually got my muscles to contract, working in rhythm with my own pulse. All I had to do was ask for the healing to happen, and this physical, muscular regeneration and strengthening would take place. It is still taking place, I am a totally new person. I can’t explain it, but there it is. And I am beaming with joy. Reading Farrell’s book, and opening to other channels of healing as well, ignited my own ability to recognize that I could heal myself. I know for sure something amazing happened and it feels great. I thank Eldon Taylor and Heather Strauch and J.P. Farrell for playing a huge role in changing my perception and making it possible for Life Source Energy to flow straight to me when I needed it. And I hope everyone will get MANIFESTING MICHELANGELO, because you never know what might take place while you’re reading this book, it might ignite your inner healer.
I rarely post a photo on Illuminara, but this morning my 12 year old son said, out of the blue, “Mom, I’m picking up a vibe for you. You need to wear your Stetson today.” I took this as a BIG sign, as a LoneStar girl coming from a long line of Texans. I wonder, was it my Grandpa Clayton (“a gentleman attorney” as Jack London describes him), sending me a message?
I believe this is my absolute favorite photo of my Grandpa. OK, Grandpa, I’ve got my Stetson on.
I’ve discovered in my own personal healing that there is a Life Pulse Energy that works with our bodies to bring us into wellbeing. When I was very ill with Lyme Disease years ago, I asked in prayer to be healed (I had to lay there for so many months, the timing was perfect) but also to learn more about the realm of angels, miracles, all things spiritual. One of the first things that happened was that I saw a luminescent, shimmering orb. It was so beautiful, I felt a kind of ecstasy gazing up at it. It glided toward me and then over to my right above me, almost behind me. I began to see these wondrous pearly orbs regularly. Often when I woke up, there would be one just above me, a pulsation of light coming from it to me. I felt the most remarkable pulse in my throat, or in my heart chakra. A strumming, healing pulse. In a more recent healing situation (I’d call it a miracle!), I have also found that the pulse is worked with and is part of the healing process. It is so powerful. I realize perhaps God is that pulse of Light, Divine Light, that works in and through all living things. Life is the breath, the pulse. And I am in awe, but also so moved emotionally by the beauty in it.
Every day when I do Psychic Drawings, I am reading the drawings in four ways, two ways are Chakra Charts, revealing where energy is active in the body. You know when you feel tight in the throat or chest, it literally feels blocked. Emotionally we are able to activate the chakras in the body, so a tight throat might indicate not speaking our truth, and a hard feeling in the chest might be telling us we are blocking love. Maybe for good reason-maybe we’re not conscious (or are) of blocking ourselves from either being hurt or taken advantage of or from what does not truly feel like love to us. Anger can do this, because we haven’t yet worked through it enough to soften, forgive and open to new perspectives. Anger of a child might be the only thing protecting the child, so it is justifiable and necessary. But do we want to hold on to childhood anger forever? I remember really disliking it when someone would say I should forgive when I was still angry at a person or situation. I might have been unable to forgive because as a child I had not feeling of control over the environments (school, home to a degree, etc.). I thought forgiving would expose me to more hurt and danger, it meant I didn’t mind the wrong someone did or the unhealthiness of a situation. But as I grew, I learned that forgiveness does not have to be acceptance of the choices people make, and some of those choices may not be good for us. Instead, forgiveness has to do with detachment from the person or situation in that we do not have to be responsible for their actions and choices, and can let go of the outcome, remove ourselves from what is not good for us, and then feel in the heart a softening. The softening is a feeling of safety and security knowing we do not have to control others, but we do get to decide for ourselves what is healthy. If, as adults, we can claim our anger of the past and begin to let go of it, our heart will soften. The emotions that may do damage on our bodies (powerful energy!) can be released and renewed. This is a sacred experience, that of arriving at a point of release of anger and hurt, and of opening the heart to a new beginning. In this beginning, we are able to become whatever we choose, and are free to love again.
A repost of an image I created in 1996/pen and ink wash
In 1996, I started going to Grandmaster Alan Lee for energy treatments. I was very much influenced by his energy work, and my art in 1995-96 involved some inspiration from him. One day when I left his building in Manhattan, feeling completely renewed and energetically vibrant, a man in the crowd of pedestrians walked by me and said, “More bounce to the ounce!” which made me laugh. Grandmaster Lee’s ability to clear and revive energy using Wu Su must have been very visibly noticeable! This method of healing is one of the reasons why I became a Reiki Master, because I can have someone fix me, but what I most want is to have someone heal me. If I can be a part of another person’s healing process, that for me is a little bit of heaven on earth.
Today the sky was so blue, and the branches above me so bold, I felt like I was in the mural I created for The Paideia School library. The sky was almost just the same as it is in the painting. When I painted these panels, I was “in it”, I was there, because a painting has to be real to me, to feel real while I create it, or the healing energy and the life spirit in it would not be felt by anyone. I can say I felt the most tremendous love for life while I created this, and for the children and teachers who created and keep Paideia School a thriving place full of life, learning and joy.
When I went to art school just after turning 18, I was finally able to talk about things I had on my mind every day. In one of my very first studio classes, we sat with our easels and paper, listening as artist Maria Artemis (a wonderful artist and teacher!) began to talk about “negative space”. I knew I was at long last “at home” in a learning environment! Negative space, the space in between objects and forms, creating a form of its own, constantly changing if you watch the negative space in between people in relation to things in a room, for example. All my life I had been entranced by the way people’s bodies interact with the surrounding space, understanding that people didn’t realize the dynamics of their physique under an arch, or juxtaposed with rectangular edges of tables, for example. Or the way a hand on an arm chair, bent at the wrist, creates an archway between the hand and the place where it rests.
I’ve come to realize in the busy visual world of my heart-mind, there is also a “negative space”, a space of thought and feeling that moves and flows in and around the more concrete thoughts I have on any given day. Taking a look at these energetic, emotional “spaces” which are part of my mental-emotional tapestry, enables me to use my time and energy in a more enriching way. In other words, I might have 10 things I have to do and I will focus on them, but there may be several emotions and thoughts in the “negative space” of my inner self which kind of run along stream with all the tasks I’m taking care of, and acknowledging that stream of feeling and thought usually frees me up. While you do things today, go inward and feel what is also there that we don’t easily see or feel in a conscious way. Go “off task” a bit and get lost in the “negative space” of thought and feeling and see what is there.