Have you heard the saying, “Be careful what you wish for”? If we are granted our wishes, a set of lessons to be learned springs from those wishes, and the experience of the manifested wish will teach us all kinds of things.
It makes you think twice, a little. I am trying to ask in prayers to have dreams and wishes met in Divine Timing, in Divine Order. I also want to let go of the wish I’ve conjured up if something better for me is possible, a certain something which I cannot yet see.
There seems to be an acceleration of time. Things seem to be happening faster now than they ever did. Our dreams may be realized in the blink of an eye. On this last day of 2009, I am going to put wishes and dreams in writing, and hope to be ready to see some of them realized, but only if it is “truly meant to be”, meaning, I want to feel the presence of the Divine in my life. Along with wishes-come-true, there will be lessons and realizations and situations. Staying one with our “inner guidance system” is the only way, I think, to ask and receive wishes and feel safe from an ego-driven wish to control or manipulate people and things. It can be so easy to have a goal, and then be determined to force the goal to be met, yet forcing something is usually a sign for me that it is not such a good idea. When aligned properly, grace is present and most things flow along effortlessly, which feels absolutely thrilling. However, each person has their own path. And at times it is necessary to strive for something. I believe depending on a soul’s purpose, sometimes there is a real necessity to push for goals, because perhaps that is the lesson at hand for that person (to learn to push hard for what one wants in life, and to experience all the consequences). It really is all good, all paths lead (eventually) toward the Divine. We’re learning and experiencing to learn, gradually becoming more and more aware and wise, which brings inner strength and joy.
A few weeks ago while drawing on-location in Westport, I ended up wandering into Art Up, which is upstairs at 42 Main Street. There I found Todd Tracy, who was setting up the space, readying it for holiday shoppers and gallery-goers.
Todd played the guitar beautifully.
The work of Coyote was on display, as well as sculptures by Bobby Friedman and Stanley Bleifeld. Todd talked a little about how Main Street looked when he was younger and how exciting it is to use this space downtown for the arts. While sketching him, I told Todd that one of the things I love about Westport is the feeling (and this is a real “vibe” here) of a thriving art culture. Art Up seems to me like one more good idea for enhancing the vitality of Westport’s history, culture and community. I’m looking forward to more exhibitions and art happenings at Art Up! (For more Westport Sketchbook work this week, go to www.westportnow.com .)
Today we’re cozy by the fire. I’ve sketched our dog, who is afraid of the train set. He has begun to give up chasing after the whistle and plume of smoke coming from the smoke stack as the train noisily makes it around the track, and he’s resigned to resting by the fire, following the train with his eyes. This is Boxing Day (having an English husband means keeping traditional English Christmas rituals which we love) and the idea is to box up all the things you no longer need, to give them away to others in need. That process will begin here at home, and we’ll sort through clothes we know we truly don’t need, and other things, and give them to a charity. But the other ritual of Boxing Day is to take a long, long walk. This means the dog will be out and about with us in the rain and wind. When we come back, we’ll join him by the fire to warm up. He’s innocent, like a two year old child, and his sweetness makes our world complete.
The Magi is my favorite part of Christmas, the Three Kings. They are not in this sketch, but I believe they will be in my sketchbook before the 12th Day of Christmas (the Epiphany). I always loved the idea of three great wise men making their way by following a star, to see a new baby, a poor little baby meant to change the world.
I found this bird I painted in one of my old sketchbooks (it was loosely stuck in). I believe I was hoping to capture the magic of winter and the feelings of anticipation and wonderment at Christmas time. Birds can symbolize immortality, and serve as messengers. I like to watch birds and feel personally privileged when a bird seems to stop and notice me in some way, a feeling of the divine is hinted at. It activates in me the sense that a subtle knowing of another kind is possible, and not all my ordinary concerns are all there is (and the animals understand this).
When meditating a few years ago, I saw myself in the center of a circle made up of what I call “The Circle of Elders”. These are spirit guides who offer advice and help. We each have our very own. Try meditating to meet your Circle of Elders. Imagine yourself standing in the middle of a circle of people, and imagine asking them to advise you on a specific subject. If you like, you may place an object or envision a person you are concerned about in the center of the circle instead of you yourself being in the center. You may not see all the guides clearly, do not worry. Just try and see what comes, and if you go to this healing place often, your visions will become clearer and guidance will become more and more vibrant.
During this particular meditation, I was given a robe to wear. This surprised me, as I had no idea someone would approach me with a robe. It was told to me that all our hardships and accomplishments through hardship are recorded on just such a robe. Each time a hard life lesson is endured, a new symbol was put on my robe. I was elated at this. I saw a few symbols, and was so honored. This painting was done around the time of this meditation, and I was imagining a robe both activated and colorful, alive and ever-changing with the marks of lessons learned. (I feel I should add more to this robe painting, and I probably will).
I sketched downtown on Main Street this past week. It was bitter cold.
I’m happiest sketching people. Like snowflakes, we’re completely unique one from the other, and there is a diamond inside each one of us. To see another Westport Sketchbook sketch, go to www.westportnow.com
I painted this gnome years ago as part of a fund raiser for the library in the town where we used to live. Our house today looks a little like this, we’re all cozy by a whistling fire. We’re waiting for a snow storm, a big blizzard. Could it be that my Winter Angel painting (see Illuminara entry from 2 days ago) is bringing the snow we asked for, from the heart?*** May we all be cozy by the fire as it comes down, down (at least when we’re not out playing in it).
***I don’t believe I or anyone else can personally change the weather, even though I heard the Druid women could do this (!), but I DO believe wishes and prayers can come true! A few days ago (see entry for Dec. 17th) my son said he had dreamed it was Christmas day and there was “about a foot of snow on the ground”. It sounds like he’s really been wishing for snow as well and we might have at least a foot of snow on the ground by morning!
At breakfast, I always ask, “What did you dream?” and then I usually talk about whatever it was I dreamed. This morning the boys looked sleepy at breakfast, as they usually do. I drew them as they ate, and I realized that no matter how old they are now, they look like they’re very little and young again first thing in the morning (only they’re longer).
They look like puppies or newly hatched chicks, I think. One of the boys-puppies-chicks said he dreamed it was Christmas day and there was about a foot of snow on the ground.
In winter, I long for snow. As Christmas approaches, I wish wish for thousands of snow fractals to float down, down, down. It always seems silent when snow is falling, as if the world were nothing more than a wish being whispered into the air. Snow, sloping drifts against the houses, everything mounded with smooth, sparkling white, creating new realms to visit. Snow makes all the familiar stones and lamps and bushes seem unrecognizable. Each snow flake is a melting diamond, not one just like the other, and I want to have the blessing of them on my head, under foot and all around. I want to step out into a blue-white morning with a foot of snow at my feet, and watch the morning light change the hue of the snow before my eyes. This angel I painted is dedicated to wishing for snow flakes.